Honestly, the whole abortion debate can easily wear us out, can't it? And that's too bad. I hope I'm able to address it in an enlightening, refreshing, new, and yet galvanizing way that ignites our passion for change. I already have rumblings in my rumbler about how to take a new approach, how to look forward with hope rather than standing down in the mire, combative, doing the same thing we've always been doing. I think we can pull out of the mire.
In that spirit, then, before I post any more about it, I want my heart to be laid as bare before you as I possibly can. As I said, the way the battle's been fought has been so. very. wearying and emotionally charged. But we all have a responsibility to fully understand what's really going on, so I just can't look away. And I refuse to hold strong opinions without having personally looked into it myself so as to get all the relevant facts, a process I started several years ago. (It can be arduous, and I hope that what I unfold here is helpful to you.)
In short, here's what I'd like to say to those who disagree with me, and moreso what I'd like to say to anyone who has had an abortion or who has been closely involved in such a situation.
My heart is for you. I know a lot of good people that I admire who have been in both camps.
The things that I will uncover here are upsetting, but they are not--may I repeat, NOT--a personal attack on human beings who are facing life the best they know how. My research goes much deeper than that in an attempt to help us all. I hope to unveil a new approach to this debate that says we are all capable of joining our compassion and fight to find and perpetuate a better way. I think the majority of people on both sides of the debate are honestly trying to "fight the good fight." I do not think that people who support abortion are also secret serial killers in the dark hours of the night. I also believe that most women who get abortions do not do so without some sort of emotional revolt on some level, nor would they want to choose it if they felt they had any other viable option.
So here goes.
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Dear You, You Who Fight with Passion for Abortion Rights,
I do not want to scream and claw at you. I believe that your intentions are good. From my experience, you on the grassroots level are compassionate for the plight of women in trouble. I love that and think we all should fight for those who need help and support. I also believe that some of you think that even if a woman isn't in trouble, she still just has the right, whatever her reasons, to an abortion--that she shouldn't have to answer for it or defend herself, that she should be secure in her right to determine what's best for her body. You have a heart for people's rights, unmeddled with. You're against any sort of restrictions that would tell us how we can and cannot manage our own most private affairs. Regarding the last two statements, you and I are largely on the same page. On this particular issue, though, a full picture causes my thoughts to deviate from yours, as there are two lives with inherent rights in the balance. But I get it. And I will not brush you off. If I disagree with you, I do not hate you. This is a bigger issue than just you and I or any individual, and I hope we all can transcend the chaos, unencumbered by preconceived notions and emotional alliances, for a glimpse of the truth.
(If you are a politician or medical practitioner/affiliate or a corporation, or anyone, who merely makes your decisions based on how it will profit you personally, this letter does not apply to you. I feel very differently about you and your motives.)
Sincerely,
Jennifer
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Dear You, You Who Has Had an Abortion,
My heart is for you. I definitely do not hate you. I might know you. I am not pointing an angry finger at you. My problem with abortion is not a problem with you. Most of you I don't know, but some of you I do. From my experience with those I do know, all I want to do is hold you and listen to you, or give you space and grace, or whatever you need. I cannot imagine your circumstances, but I do know what it's like to be in a tight place that feels out of my control, or to be faced with something that was just the last thing I felt I could deal with. I also know what it's like to feel caught-off-guard, defensive, scared, distrustful, grieved, annoyed, desperate, misunderstood, unheard, undervalued, disappointed, confused, exposed, indignant. I know some of you could care less what I've ever felt and don't want my hug or listening ear. I guess my deeply rooted feeling is that I think we all need support. I don't know if you got, or get, support or not. But as I unfold my findings and thoughts about abortion, I pretty constantly imagine what it must be like for someone who's had one to read my words, and I do not want to create pain. I pray for the strength and bravery we all need to face such an issue.
My conclusions are not a judgment against you. Heavens, no. They are a judgment against a mindset that has been dishonest with all of us. Whatever any of us has done in the past, is truly in the past. If it was right, wonderful. If it was not right, we can be healed and forgiven and forgive ourselves and be thankful for second, third, fourth...chances. My prayer is for tremendous grace to cover anyone who might have a hard time facing what I'll be writing here. I need the grace to face it, too. And I remove any incrimination from settling onto anyone who has every right to move on with her life in strength and dignity, by the grace of God, armed with the truth.
Sincerely,
Jennifer
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